While we often do things we do not want to explain our real motivations for before other people (out of fear of embarrassment, anger or loss of image), it is a bad idea to try to convince oneself that the motivation was anything different from what it was. It will only reduce your self-knowledge with deliberate misinformation, and it is often valuable to understand what motivations you have (even if you dislike them or would never admit them in public).
There are always two reasons for doing anything. A good reason, and a real reason. The good reason can still be true and real, yet it is the reason we give to justify or validate what we are doing, and mostly it's the reason we share with others.
The real reason on the other hand, is your true reason and motivation for doing something, it's the answer to the question "what's my personal stake in this?" or "what's in it for me?". this Real reason usually speaks to your inner self, and rarely is it shared with anyone for fear of embarrassment, shame and/or privacy, this isn't necessarily bad . it's just what motivates you to do something, it’s the real reason driving you and your good reason.
think about it, for a few minutes, what are your real reasons? know yourself better