Friday, December 16, 2011

A Long Overdue Recruiter's Rant - Part 1

(a WARNING: this is a rant of the recruiter in me, Technical Writer mode is switched OFF at the moment of RANTING)

Dear Job Seeker,

Yes, am a recruitment consultant, I cater to hiring managers and their companies.
Yes, I can give you free advice on how to improve your resume. 
Yes, I may know someone "in" the company you want to work for...
Yes, I can coach you and help you prepare for interviews...and plan your career path
Yes, do send me your CV or resume, I'd love to see it in case a match comes up

NO, I will not recommend you, just because you are in any one of my social media networks, DO I KNOW YOU? I cannot recommend you and endorse you on LINKEDIN or write a recommendation letter of any type, if I haven't worked with you! I cannot attest to your character if we never met in person and never had a long-term social or business relationship.

NO, I will not write your resume / CV / profile if you don't hire me, neither expect any of my recruiter colleagues to do so, this is what we do for a living, not for charity. 

NO, I don't influence hiring decisions in companies or the hiring managers there who are not my clients! even if I know them. You see, I get paid by the client and not you my dear job seeker, as most of my fellow recruiters do. Even then, and even if I have hiring decision making power in most cases, all that I can do is recommend you based on your passing your interview evaluation with me. After-all, I'd be recruiting on behalf of the client.

NO, Don't email your CV with no cover letter what so ever! It doesn't have to be something fancy, or another attached file for that matter, just write a short paragraph (5 - 8 sentences long):

  • introduce yourself, 
  • tell us what position(s) your are applying for or are interested in
  • give us a reason to open and read your resume
  • distinguish yourself from the tens and hundreds of applications we receive daily
  • make sure you have your correct contact information on your resume and in the body of your email too (add it after your signature)
  • Give us something to work with for your sake!

Again NO, recruitment consultants don't run  charities; money is on the clock, yes we want to help, but for us to spend hours on hours working with you on your career or interview skills without compensation is not something we do if the client is paying us to find them the right candidates. 

There are specialized recruiters that will work with you, to develop your career and help you with leads to job opportunities; and yes, you have to pay them a percentage of your annual salary or a retainer. Seek them out, Unfortunately for you am not that kind of recruiter, but; ...if you want my help you can hire me as your career coach, but you really got to invest time and money in yourself and actually do most of the work yourself. You see, if you don't then after you are hired, this is what will happen YOU'LL GET FIRED eventually! and that's not good for either one of us! don't you agree?

We really want to hire people, and do our best to review all applicants, but can you please, a pretty please decorated with dandelions, can you just use the reference code we asked you to use in the subject line for any advertised vacancy? 

After going through hundreds of applications each day, we may as well, just overlook you because you already have demonstrated that you lack certain important skills, you didn't pay attention to details and you are unable for the life of your CAREER follow simple straightforward directions. You already have lost our attention, and probably would be moved to the Dump file, instead of getting shortlisted for second screening.

It is in the second screening mostly that a decision to call you in for an interview is made. SO please, a pretty please decorated with dandelions, Pay attention to details and follow instructions. 

If you don't meet  50% - 80% of the job requirements, please try and explain why you think you'd be the right candidate for the job? We really want to know what makes you the right choice. If you don't even meet 50% of job requirements, then, don't apply. Seriously, don't bother, because we won't!

please, a pretty please decorated with dandelions, help us help you

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